Any other exhausted moms?

I saw this post shared on FaceBook and it was definitely worth the read for me, this tired and exhausted Mom, so thought I would share it here on my blog too. "Mommy Somebody Needs You" Wow, crying . . . I was just in one of those times tonight with Alaina at bedtime that I was so frustrated with all of her stalling, and stubbornness and told her that I couldn't put her to bed anymore out of frustration. She cried and said, "But I need you, Mommy!" So, I read to her and sang to her and rocked her, because she did need me. Wow, I could've written this, as I'm sure many other mommies could've. Definitely worth the read and an encouragement! I have so many thoughts I want to share that this blog post stirred up in me.  I guess one is how I can't ever seem to do everything I need and want to do, and always feel behind, and always feel exhausted no matter how much sleep I get (which still is never much, or enough).  But maybe that is just the thing I have to accept for this stage of my life with young children.  I know there will be a day when I am not needed so much, or in the same way, and I'm sure I will long for it again.  But when you're in the middle of these long, exhausting mom days, you can feel so suffocated, so down, so stripped of your energy and purpose.  It's so easy to lose "you".      

A couple things I didn't want to forget from this summer . . .

While I had a quick second, I just wanted to share a couple things I didn't want to forget from this summer. 1. Caleb FINALLY lost his first tooth! He was the very youngest first grader in his class last year, so he was the only one that hadn't lost a tooth by the end of the year. He was so, so ready to lose one! And it finally came out. He actually let my mom, his Mama Bailey, as we call her, pull it out. He was so proud! He received $5 from the tooth fairy. (We told him the first tooth is special, and usually gets more money than the other teeth :-)

2. Ethan ran his very first 5K race with me! He did so great for his first time, and actually helped me to get one of the fastest times I've ever run (since running races as an adult after having children, that is - I was much younger, slimmer, and faster in high school, but that's a different story!) Any way, his time was 32:31 and mine was 32:35. He probably honestly could've finished faster, but I slowed him down a little because I had to walk a couple times during the race, and he wanted to stay together with me. We are looking forward to doing some more 5Ks together in the future. Daddy and Caleb may join us for one in the Fall. And Alaina even likes running lately! (But we'll wait til she's a little older to actually run a real race, ha ha!)

3. Our last baby, Lainey girl, gave up her beloved pacifier, affectionately called "Pink" finally, at 2 years 6 months and 10 days. I had been saying that we were going to make her give it up since June, but it always became another week and another and another. I truthfully didn't want to deal with the hard to bed nights that I anticipated coming from it. We only let her have it at night and during naps for quite a while, but she was very attached. I told her that she was a big girl now, and that only babies needed pacis. We told her that we sent her Pink to her cousins, Daniel and Cooper, who are babies and needed them. I think that actually helped her to process the whole thing and not having it anymore. She cried for a good 30 minutes when I told her . . . I even got a little teary eyed. After all, this is my LAST baby and this was another step to her growing up. :-( Then she finally settled down, asked me a few more times where Pink was, seemed satisfied and understood that it was with her cousins, and then proceeded to talk my ear off about all that she would do the next day and all of her friends she would see. She really is such a social girl! Since then, she has only asked about it a handful of times, and continues to understand and be satisfied with the giving away theory. And no more crying about it since the first night. So, all this time I was worried it would take a week to get her used to it, and it only took one night! That's our little sweetie. She's really so easy with SOME things. Love her sweet and quirky personality.

And as much as I love and enjoy photography, I just really haven't had time to focus and spend on it much at all since the end of 2012. I loved photographing some other family's Christmas pictures at the end of last year, but I realized that it really took too much time away from my family for the shoots and editing, etc. Especially with the fact that I already work a part time job outside the home. I'm not "good enough" in my opinion to make photography my new profession, so for now, I've decided to just enjoy my family, and take quick snap shots, iphone photos, and not worry if they are perfect pictures. But every once in a while, when I have the desire to work on a picture, if I happen to catch a cute one of my kid, then I may do some editing. Such are the 4 pictures above of A. I just happened to get some great ones after church last Sunday, so I added them to my photography portfolio. More of my Lainey Bug Photography pics are located at www.laineybugphotography.shutterfly.com for now. Maybe some day, or in different less busy seasons, I'll have more time to focus on my photography again. So these are a few things I didn't want to forget. There was soooo much more to our summer, but these thoughts were on my mind tonight. Again, check out all our pictures and happenings at our Brisken Bunch picture site.

Teach Them To Your Children

"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the Lord swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth." - Deuteronomy 11:18-21

I have been so frustrated lately with being a mom . . . I love my children, but I just haven't LIKED them very much.  I think all parents can relate, although they might not ever admit this.  The day in and day out of parenting can really wear you down.  I don't know how parents do it without the love and strength of Jesus behind them, guiding them through His Word in the way they should go.  I know I certainly depend on Him sometimes moment by moment in my parenting challenges and struggles.  I have to keep reminding myself that there is a reason I am teaching my children these things . . . not just to do right because they should and that is what is expected, but because that is what God commands us to do, so that our days, their days will by MANY.  I have to remember that these kids have been entrusted to ME for only a short time, shorter than I even realize now.  I can't give up on teaching them God's words and commands.  It is my main JOB to teach them how to fix these words in their hearts and minds, to talk about them when we sit at home and when we walk along the road, and when we lie down and when we get up . . . ALL THE TIME!  I also should WRITE them in our house to be seen by myself and my kids.  Our church is doing a church-wide study on the basics of being a Christian and walking with the Savior.  One way to do that is by memorizing verses in the Bible.  This is so much harder for me to do as an adult!  Other people who wrote the study must've known this fact, as they gave each person scriptures written out on cards and with a stand up placard to put them in front of us, where we would see them the most to remember them.  It is a discipline I learned as a child, but must relearn and reteach myself to do as an adult.

My prayer is that as I continue to fix God's words in my own heart and mind, that I will be the mother that my children need me to be, so that they can grow in their understanding and knowledge of Him.  I know I am so far from the perfect mother, although I strive to do my best, but I know God forgives me for the many times I mess up, the times I let my frustration with the circumstances get the best of me, the times I say something I shouldn't have said to my kids, the times I don't say something that I should've said, . . . the list goes on.

Thank you, Lord, that You have given me Your Word, the Bible, to teach and instruct me in the way I should go.


"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." - Psalm 32:8

Depending on God Like Never Before

I am depending on God like I never have before. 

I'm at a new phase in my life, with the recent birth of our third child, a child we were not expecting in our own plans (but planned all along by God), my life has taken a different turn than I thought it would.  I am still adjusting to the newness of a new schedule with three children, the balancing act of it all.  Getting one child to school all day, one child to preschool, one child on a routine of feeding and napping and sleeping through the night, and going back to work part time, keeping up with a household and all the chores that entails, working on my relationship with my husband to keep my marriage going strong, prioritizing time to read my Bible and grow as a Christian, fitting in exercise to keep my body and mind in shape, and the list could go on and on and on!  Any other moms out there feel the same way I do with the never ending list?  In my every day lists in my head, on paper, on my calendar reminders on my phone that pop up at me to remind me 30 minutes before a doctor's appointment for someone in the family (otherwise I am afraid I would forget it if the reminder is any earlier than 30 minutes away.  I blame the post-pregnancy brain for my new increasing lack of memory at this time! . . . my complete dependence is on HIM, my SAVIOR, my LORD, my HELPER, my COMFORTER, my FRIEND.  He really does care about the "tiny trust steps" that you take each day in trusting in Him to get you through.  

Do you have a complete dependence on Him?  Do you desire a deeper dependence on Him?  I know I do.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." - Isaiah 26:3-4