Race Ready

It is only 5 more days until my 5K race. I can't believe it is already here! Last week on vacation, I didn't train as much as I probably should've. I did run one time on the beach, which was great! But there weren't any hills. And since I've been back from vacation, I've been having motivation issues. It is so hard to get back to the regular routine of life! Anyway, I finally made myself run 3.1 miles tonight. I did walk some of it though, but was able to finish in 39 minutes, which I didn't think was too bad. I think when I ran cross country in high school, my best time for a 5K race was probably 27 minutes, so here I am 13 or so years later, and not training every day like I did in high school. I am lucky if I fit in 3 times a week, normal is usually more like 2 times a week. I just hope I can finish in under 45 minutes - that is my goal! It feels good when the run is over, but making myself get out there to run and start putting one foot in front of the other is the hardest thing for me.

I also have been extra emotional today about everything. I was reading my sister's blog, who is pregnant, and I could relate to her emotional roller coaster, and I'm not even pregnant (as far as I know!) We are trying to fit in so much this summer on our schedules. We're making two trips to Maryland for wedding showers and wedding for Megan, which I'm excited about, but it will just be busy. Then we are doing a flooring project in our house over the 4th of July. We're ripping up all of our carpet in our dining room/living room and the boys' bedrooms and putting down hardwood laminate flooring. And we're hoping to accomplish this in a 4 day weekend time-span. I hope it is doable. Scott and I sat down and discussed the plan of how we will move the furniture and to where, and when we'll rip up the carpet and where, etc. and I feel a little more better planned for it. I just hope it goes as quickly as we hope it does and we aren't left with a torn up floor and having to start back to work on Monday without it finished.

And one last emotional issue I've been dealing with - Caleb. After spending an entire week with him 24/7, which I haven't done in a really long time, since I work for several hours during each day and am away, I'm realizing how difficult of a child he is and how quickly he can push my buttons! Of course we go through these times when I am home with him, but since it isn't an all day thing, I am usually able to deal with it. On vacation though, man was it hard! He is so strong willed and really seems to be challenging every single thing, especially with me. Even to change his diaper or change his clothes or get him out of the bath is a physical battle. He is also physically strong, so it really wears me out! When he was younger, I used to slap his hand or squeeze it when he was doing something wrong and say no. Well that isn't working anymore, because he is imitating everything I do, so when he is mad at me for changing his diaper, he starts hitting my hand or squeezing it. So, I don't want to teach him that hitting is the answer, so we've gone to more time outs lately. Which those calm him down for a moment, but then when I go back after the time out to finish changing his diaper or clothes, it starts all over. The only thing I've found that then works is to spank him. That will at least get him to hold still long enough to get the diaper changed. I give him a warning to be still by the count of 3, and if he doesn't, then he gets a spanking. I hate to have to do that and see his little face looking up at me like I'm the worst person in the world, but it truly is the only thing that works to hold him still! Over vacation I bought the book, "The New Strong Willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson, and boy is everything in there true about Caleb. I could tell from the time he was a week old that he was strong willed and much different than my easy going Ethan was, and still is. I am hoping to continue to get encouragement and ideas for how to deal with my strong willed child. Unfortunately it says in the book that I can look forward to very difficult teenage years as well - great! Anyway, I just have to remember that I have to remain calm and in charge and that no matter what, I must win the battles. It is just so hard being the easy going personality parent that I am, and having a strong willed child who fights everything you do with him! I mean everything! I keep hoping it will get better when he can talk, but I am beginning to wonder. I must remember there are so many sweet things about Caleb, and remind myself of those times. It's just all the times around those sweet times that are sooooo hard! It's hard to have parents look at me when we are out in public and Caleb is screaming like it sounds like we are truly hurting him, and we're not even touching him! We don't know half the time what is wrong, or what he wants, because he can't verbalize much yet still. So, it is a guessing game. We thought we had this parenting thing figured out with Ethan, until there came Caleb! Don't get me wrong, I love both of my boys so much! It is just so hard sometimes.

Alright, enough of my emotional roller coaster for now. I think I will go get ready for bed and try to get a good night's sleep!